The Decision

Less than a decade ago
I made a decision
and called it healing.

I didn’t lose the ability to love.
I removed the parts of me
that made loss expensive.

Now nothing costs much.

Not people.
Not leaving.
Not staying halfway.

It works.

They call it freedom.

Until the room is quiet
and there’s nothing left 

and I realize
I didn’t protect myself from pain.

I just made sure
nothing matters enough
to hurt me again.

And now I wonder
if this freedom is still necessary

or if it’s just a door
I never went back to open.

K.